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29-Jul-2017 21:31

It’s not uncommon for people, men or women, to derive their sense of well-being, self-worth, and self-esteem from how other people treat them.

Unfortunately, it’s a false sense of well-being and is entirely dependent on the actions of others (thus the inevitable crippling neediness).

I think it’s more that they wouldn’t even know how or where to begin… but if I could go back and tell my 15-year-old self a piece of advice about breakups, it would be, “If you get dumped, just move on right away.

all they feel is suffering and they want it to end. and honestly, I think all of us, man and woman, have been there at one time or another. It doesn’t mean anything about you, your worth, your attractiveness, your value, etc.

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Recently the subject of guys and breakups came up and Sabrina and I went back and forth about what guys generally go through when they breakup.

To wrap up this point: Most people can’t recognize when they believe something impossible, nor can they see the false belief as the source for all of the suffering…

In the same regard, when a relationship ends, it is much much harder for a guy to go back and discuss and revisit and talk through and explain, etc. In fact, guys like to keep their emotional spectrum focused on a tight range of emotions – somewhere between amusement and contentedness.

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For men and women, growth in relationship is in direct proportion to one’s sense of emotional responsibility.

When a person (male or female) realizes that only they themselves can be responsible for their emotions, actions, and reactions…No discussion was going to fix things, no clarity was to be had – it would have just been an emotional toilet for both of us.

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